Saturday, January 29, 2011

Prog. Shot Dilemma

So this past Friday I came home really tired and cramping. I was a little freaked out because I saw some red blood, not much just when I wiped but enough to get me to panic.

So I asked DH to prepare the Progesterone shot so I can get it over with and go to sleep. This was the second time DH was giving the shot. In the midst of my panic I didn't check if he has done everything right before the shot, I just figured he already did it once so not a big deal.

Any how while I am all tense from worry I expose my butt and wait for the shot and feel a stab. Ouch, I flinched so badly I was thinking is it because I am tense that it hurt so much. As he finshed the shot he put the syringe on the counter and I see what went wrong.

He has giving me the injection using the big needle that is used to draw out the progesterone. You are suppose to change to a smaller needle after for the shot. That needle is so thick that it hurt like hell.

What was even funny was seeing DHs terrified face. He was so upset that he literally felt like crying :). Men can't handle needles.

Now I call him the butt stabber. I laughed so much seeing how distraught he was over this. It did me good though, all the tension left me and I went to sleep.

Poor DH, now he dreads Tuesday and Friday nights.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

One Day At a Time

Sorry I haven't posted in a couple of days. I am still seeing some brown/pinkish stuff when I wipe but the cramping has disappeared. I tried to call Dr. S. office today but for some reason couldn't get through.

The last couple of days I am feeling tired after lunch and by the end of the day I am beat and need to lye down for a bit. The tender boobs are also back so all is good. I decided to wait until Feb 4th to test for progesterone and HCG. That is when they gave me papers for so I am going to take it easy and let this happen as planned.

I also haven't taken the HC over the last week or so and need to make sure it is ok to take during pregnancy.

DH gave me the progesterone shot yesterday. By this afternoon my butt is hurting like hell. It is so weird. The pain I used to have on my sides are gone and I think it was definitely Endo pain because it has disappeared and been replaced by butt pain from the shot.

I told one of my sisters that I am PG. Didn't feel it was right to keep it from her since she has been helping me out with driving to PA etc for my Dr. appointments. But I told her not to tell anyone especially my mom since she is the worry type.

I still don't think this is real except for the times that I feel tired and I get up to pea at 4 am in the morning.

We got snow this evening and driving home from work was painful. I should have known better and gone home early but my boss who lives 2 min away decided that he didn't want to cancel a meeting. Some people went home saying they will call in for the meeting but I figured since I live close about 2.5 miles away it would be fine. Visibility was really bad and I was so tense. Hoping that we get to stay home tomorrow.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Starting to Worry

The first two days after the positive PG test my bobs were slightly painful to the touch and I also felt a little bit nauseated in the morning, just a hint. I also had period like cramps and that went away. After that two days of no symptoms and then faint cramps started back again. I also see hint of blood and brown stuff when I wipe. Now I am starting to panic that I may miscarry.

This weekend I don't feel tired just back pain and cramps if I stand too long. I just spent a couple of hours cooking and now I am resting. I don't feel hungry either, not more than usual.

Trying to stay calm. There is nothing I can do at this point but wait it out. My next blood test is in two weeks. If the brown stuffy continues I will have to ask for a test this week to see if numbers are going up.

Please pray

Friday, January 21, 2011

Dr. Visit

When the nurse called me and said I can come on Friday or Monday so that my DH can learn on how to give me the progesterone shots I was thinking Monday. Our department at work had an old day meeting planned for Friday so I didn't want to miss it so I figured Monday. But since DH is a professor and class starts on Monday there is no way he can take off work. So I told my boss I would not be able to make the meeting. So now my co-workers are wondering there must be something major wrong with me. I told them it is urgent but all is fine.

DH did great with the injection. The nurse showed him how to do it one side and he injected the other side. Now my butt is sore as hell. I didn't think it will get sore after just one round.

The cramps have subsided the last couple of days. I have been getting up at 4 am everyday this week to pee. I also get tired a little faster than usual. After we came back from PA today I ate and slept for 4 hours. My next blood test will be first week of Feb. For now I am calm and trusting God that all will work out. The last thing I need is to stress about this pregnancy. I still can't believe that I am pregnant. I thought the day will never come.

DH is overwhelmed and emotional with the prospect of having a kid. He told me that the last time we were at Dr. St. that he thought the next time we go up there would be with a pregnancy. It is so cute to see him so excited.

Thursday, January 20, 2011


I am definitely Pregnant. Yepppie. The nurse said HCG is good, forgot to ask the number since I was more worried about the progesterone. Progesterone is at 10.5, very low, they want to see it around 20.

I have an appointment tomorrow so that DH can learn to give me the Progesterone shots. I will be on 400 mg of vaginal and 2X per week of the shot. Ohhhhh, I have never done any shots on my behind and I am scared. Not looking forward to that part but not complaining. Anything to keep this baby.

I haven't told any one about this pregnancy. I was planning to tell my sisters and my Mom but DH is a little uncomfortable telling them this early. So I said fine we will wait.

The funny thing is that when I went to work on Tuesday (the day I tested) a co-worker mentioned that she is PG and due in the summer. So people started talking about who will be next etc and of all days it was funny this conversation surfaced the day I got a positive test.

Praying that all works out

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

OMG-Pregnant, updated

I called Dr. Ste.gman office this morning. As soon as I got the positive result I took the progesterone so couldn't do the blood work today. Planned for tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed and praying.

Spend the day at work in a daze thinking is this really happening to me? Got very little done. Still have some cramps and headache but enjoying it.

God is indeed good. I got a BFP this morning. Never in the three years we have been trying that I have had a positive PG Test.

I walk up at 4:30am this morning. I touched my bobs and they are still a little sore. I opened my drawer, took a stick and headed to the bathroom.

First I checked if there is a hint of AF. Nothing. Relieved I peed on the stick and it took 5 seconds for the positive sign to show up. Today is P + 17

Wow, I am beyond shocked, happy, delighted, scared and feel like I am not deserving of this miracle.

I walk up DH and I was shaking and crying when I told him. He is happy but a little cousious until I do the blood test.

Thank You ladies for all the prayers. Now to the next step, need to call Dr. Ste.man so I can get the progesterone and also do a blood test.

Praying that all is good

Still in Shock

Monday, January 17, 2011

To Test or Not To Test

I have had cramps since P+10 and today is P+16. On P+10 I called in sick from work, walk up with the room spinning and wanting to throw up. Figured I had one of the milder stomach virus that is going around. I never threw up and by afternoon it kind of went away. I had very light spotting on P+10, it went away and came back for a day on p+13 and disappeared. Since p+13 I have not had any bleeding but I have had cramps like usual.

AF was due yesterday. My bobs are a little sore on the sides but nothing out of the ordinary. So should I test or not?

I rather not test because I am always devastated by the negative result so I am thinking of wait it out. After all I am having period like cramps so it might just been delayed by a day or two because of the progesterone.

It would be a miracle if I get a positive result, my CM this cycle was shorter and not as good.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

AF and Baby Arrival

AF is knocking on my door as usual, I have been spotting for couple of days. However the timing is just great. My niece had a baby a few days ago. She is young and her fiance lives abroad. She didn't grow up around us, grew up with her mothers side of the family so we are not as close. She has no stable job, she was going to school and stopped to go see her boyfriend for a few month, got engaged and came back pregnant. Some family members are still upset with her.

Any how I went to see her at the hospital both days while AF is knocking away. It is the hardest thing I had to do visiting a mother who just gave birth. However since she is in need of help I went both nights and kept her company for hours. She doesn't have many friends and is at odds with some family members. I don't know how she is going to raise a kid with a job that pays minimum wage and no schooling.

So I volunteered to take her to her Dr. appointment next week. It is so hard for me to be this close to new born but she needs help.

Why does AF show up at the worst time?

Saturday, January 8, 2011


Even though I had surgery not long ago which made the pelvic pain manageable I am still in pain. I go to physical therapy every other week and it has helped me a lot but it is not enough. I am slowly coming to terms with accepting this and I may have to live with chronic pain for the rest of my life. I certainly am not going to consider another surgery right now being that the last one was six month ago.
In addition, I get really bad migraines when the pain intensifies, luckily these have been far apart recently. My anxiety level has been pretty high and I am having difficulties with it and it frustrates me beyond words can express. Some times I have no control of it, I could wake up in the morning with a dreaded feeling and anxiousness for no reason. Of course there is the hormone imbalance, stress of IF, work and the chronic pain at the root cause of it.

I need counseling ASAP. I am looking for a therapist who specializes in coping with chronic pain and also anxiety. I prefer a woman, I would think only a woman can understand the emotional turmoil that is created by hormonal imbalance and infertility. I am having difficult identifying such person in my area. I feel like I am slowly sinking in unnecessary worry, fear that is accompanied with chronic pain and it needs to be addressed.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

2nd Christmas

Tomorrow is our Christmas. Since my DH is still on vacation he went to church. I am having trouble falling asleep. The church service finishes at 3am in the morning. I should have taken the day off tomorrow but since I have already taken off a week prior to 1st Xmas I couldn't justify it. We will have a family lunch on Sat to celebrate Christmas the 2nd time. The perks of being an immigrant :)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Bye Bye 2010!

I am glad that 2010 is over. I was ready for it to be over last April :). 2010 for the majority of the time has been a heartache, with illness, death and major accident in the family, being in pain and unable to work, surgery, heartache of TTC and the list goes on. However, there were good things such as family coming together and being much closer than we ever have been. Even though I still have pain being able to function and having some hope that pregnancy could be a possibility is a positive. I have also became to accept what I can't change and giving it to God. Still struggling with this but have come a long way.

I am praying for a more peaceful 2011 no matter the outcome of my health issues. I am striving for less focus on my self for 2011 and more on family, friends and other things.

Happy New Year everyone and may 2011 bring you lots of happiness. I can't wait to hear of adoption outcomes & pregnancy announcements for this year.