fall

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Friday, May 28, 2010

Sitting

Once again I am sitting at home on a Friday night. DH went out with his friends, I am in no position for company. Over the last few days I have been extremely tired in the afternoons. Its Cd 24 and AF is around the corner. I usually do feel sleepy and tired right before AF but this time it is very intense. No, No I know better not to think of this as a pregnancy symptom. I already have mild cramps so definitely AF will be here soon.

Its past 8 pm and I haven't made dinner. I have been stuck to my sofa for the last few hours. I have no interest or the energy for cooking right now.

I am a little down but accepting that the Lap surgery will not happen next cycle which means I will not be able to go on Vacation with DH. I was counting that if I had the Lap in June it will be enough time to recovery by July to go on Vacation. DH wants to go home to see his parents, its been two years since we saw them last. Not looking forward to his absence. I plan to spend quality time with my Mom and family while he is gone.

RG

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Stuck

I feel like I am stuck at this point. Still haven't heard from my Na.pro Dr. on surgery schedule, makes me think may be I should find another Dr. Driving more than 5-10 min is out of the question, my eyes are blurry and my brain is foggy not to mention the dull constant Endo pain. I don't know if the blurry vision is related to Endo but it has gotten worse the last two month or so.

I have been reading a lot on Vitamin D deficiency. It seem indeed some of my symptoms could be related to Vitamin D deficiency, I reviewed my medical records and the only time I got tested was two month ago where numbers came low. For some reason I thought this was included in the routine yearly blood work check up.
It seem like vitamin D is related to infertility, gluten intolerance & also Endo which I have all three.

My Endocrinologist got back to me on the hormone test on Cd 1. He tested for DHEA, progesterone, estrodiol, testosterone, prolactin, cortisol, FSH & TSH. All were within the normal range. Then why do I feel like crap?

I have been seeing a Physical Therapist who specializes in pelvic pain. On my last session she was checking around my stomach and found a painful spots on both sides that I wasn't aware of. She said it seem like connective tissue issues and it was so painful when she massaged it. She is a very nice lady and very laid back. PT for pelvic pain is worse than going to the OBGYN, at least at the OBGYN you are exposed for a short time. Here they work on both internal and external pelvic muscles and boy the internal part is not pleasent to say the least. I am hoping this helps my pain soon, I don't think I can stand the a$$ poking for long, it is gross as hell.

My husband's cousin who is frantically planning her wedding is pregnant. She is in her early 40's, I am happy for her but can't help but feel a little jealous.

Here is an interesting blog I found while reading on vitamin D

http://infertility-fertility.blogspot.com/

RG

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Impatient

Its been a week since I e-mailed my chart to my Dr. and I haven't heard back from him. I am aware that the wait can be long for surgery but I need to know the possibility of when it can happen. I am not a very patient person, my husband reminds of this on a daily bases :) but I am really trying. So I broke down and e-mailed the Dr. and asked if he has gotten a chance to look at my chart and when I can schedule surgery. Hope he doesn't think I am being too pushy. I also need to tell my job of my schedule since they are allowing me to work from home.
Recently so many bloggers who have been seeing Nap.ro Drs are expecting. This gives me so much hope. But right now all the focus will be getting to feel better.

Since I have been working form home I have also been thinking if I should take a year off working and focus on getting well and TCC. Lots of thoughts going through my head. Haven't mentioned it to my husband yet. If this has to happen then our hopes of buying a house will have to be put on hold and we may struggle a little bit financially. But it could all be worth it. But then again I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I quit work. So many things going through my mind.

RG

Monday, May 10, 2010

Stuff

Usually on Mother's day we get together for lunch or dinner with my parents and siblings. Being from another country, our culture doesn't have a Mother's day. However, we do get together since we all live close to each other. Mother's day wasn't any harder for me than any other day.

I bumped in to a friend I lost touch with this past week. The last time I talked to her was when she was pregnant with her third child which was unplanned. She was trying to go back to school at the time and boom she was pregnant. Anyhow when she saw me the other day with my husband with no child to show for she said "you still don't have a baby?"-I don't think I have talked to her about our IF situation. She followed with "you are being selfish for not having a baby by now". Wow, what do you say to that, I smiled and said nothing and since her husband seem to be in a hurry with the kids running around we exchanged numbers and parted. Would I have said something like that if I had no issues with fertility, I doubt it. But her words hit me like a brick. People have no clue. Even if I chose not to have kids what gives her the right to call me selfish. If she has asked me nicely I would have said we are trying and it is just not happening for us.

On the health front my Nap.ro Dr. has me on mega dose of Vitamin D and thinks that some of my symptoms are because of the vitamin D deficiency. I just took my first dose and man my stomach is already unhappy. I Still don't have a date for surgery, anxiously waiting.