Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Quick Takes

1. We spent Christmas with DH's cousins. We have been going there ever year. I remember last year’s celebration where one of DH cousin brought her 2 month old baby to the party and how it stung to be childless year after year. So this year’s Christmas was emotionally for me. It was such a happy moment but also sad. Everyone dotted around baby MH and all the kids wanted to kiss her and she was the center of attention. However, the hosts of the party are infertile and have been trying for 10 years. All I can think of was what they’re going through. On the way back home I cried in the car just overwhelmed with sadness, I know all too well what she must be going through.

2. I am enjoying breastfeeding and gratefully that it finally worked. I figured out why baby MH suddenly started breastfeeding. I have given her the breast at least once or twice a day when she is not too hungry but she will nibble and spit it out because there were not much milk coming out and she didn't want to work at it. About three weeks ago I went to my doctor to ask for HC since I was feeling so down and anxious but my doctor suggested trying taking progesterone orally. The week I started the progesterone is when she started breastfeeding successfully. The progesterone helped a lot with my constant state of anxiety and I felt immediate relive. I guess this had an effect on the let down response. I went back to work a week ago so I still have to pump but it is so nice to breastfeed and I do it every chance I get. She loves it and I love looking down at her precious face. It has been such a bonding experience.

3. Going back to work was hard the first few days. I work close by so I come home to feed her/pump so it is not so bad. Plus my mother is taking care of her so I know she is in safe hands.
I wouldn't have minded staying another month or two with my baby especially since she now is breastfeeding but this will not be feasible unless I quit my job. In this economy getting a new job is not a guarantee so I have come to accept it and enjoy what I have.

4. We have been looking for a house and have not found anything we liked. We are very limited on location and there are not many houses on the market. Hopefully we will find something before the summer. We live on a 2nd floor apt and it is not very kid friendly.

5. I am praying for all of you who are still waiting, my heart aches for you. I hope and pray that 2012 it the year.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Liebster Award & life updates

Sorry I have been missing. My computer is acting up. A couple of times I started writing a post and it shuts on me or freezes. I am attempting again and will see if I actually be able to post.

The lovely lady at Ask and It will be Given has awarded me the Liebster Award. This is my first blog award ever so I am excited. Thank You.

The Liebster Award spotlights up and coming bloggers who generally have less than 200 followers. In return for the award, the recipient bestows the award on five of their favorite bloggers.

I would like to pass on the Liebster Blog Award to the following bloggers. If you haven't read their blogs, please check them out.

1. Fruit Snacks and Freezer Jam. I love reading Coco's blog, she is honest and funny. She just had her 2nd kid after suffering with secondary infertility.

2. This Cross I Embrace. Most of you know TCIE. She has been struggling with infertility for years. I love her honesty.

3. Life from Inside the Wheelbarrow. When I started searching the internet for info on Naprotechnology and NFP her blog was most informative. I have been reading ever since.

4. Sew Hormonal: Most of you know Sew the hormone Queen. I have been reading her blog for a while. She just announced her 2nd pregnancy and I am so excited for her.

5. A Child to Call me Mama. I have been following Rachel's blog for a while. She has the most adorable baby.

I don’t know how to link the addresses so you can click on the blog name to go to the page. The link on blogger is not cooperating with me. I don’t know if I am doing it right.

Upon receipt of the Liebster Blog Award, there are a few very simple rules:

1. Copy and paste the award on your blog
2. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you
3. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog or emailing them.
4. Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.

Some of you have already recived the award from others.

Ok on to other things.........
1. I finally went to see my Doctor asking to test for my adrenal hormones and give me HC. Since during pregnancy all my anxiety and migraines went away she thinks progesterone will help me alleviate some of these symptoms. Since I am breastfeeding she didn't want me to take HC unless it is absolutely necessary so she wants to see how I do on the progesterone. Obviously progesterone is a precursor to cortsol so if taken orally the progesterone will help raise my cortsol level. This was two weeks ago and I have been taking 200 mg of it orally before bed and I felt better right away. The difference is night and day. My anxiety level dropped and my headaches are gone. I still have some symptoms but overall doing much better.

2. I am going back to work next week and I am ok with it. I am not stressing since my Mom will be taking care of baby MH. DH will also be home for a few weeks. My plan as far as breast milk is to pump in the morning before I leave, once at lunch at work and twice after I come home. I don't think I can pump more than once at work. I usually get about 20-25 ounces/day. About three weeks ago MH finally started breastfeeding. I usually give it to her when she is not very hungry and she will take it. She has successful been breastfeeding for a good week and we both are enjoying it. For the majority of the time she still gets pumped milk since I am going to go back to work but I am so pleased that finally breastfeeding is working out.

3. MH was baptized yesterday. We had to be at church at 6am for the christening. They start Sunday service at 7 am which lasts until 11am. There were about 6 babies that were baptized at the same time. We do not eat before going to church but I have issues and cannot last until 11 am without no food. I usually get very shaky and there is the possibility of passing out :) which I didn't want to risk so I ate at 5am in the morning. We had lunch with immediate family at our house after church. At first we thought we will have a big party but we live in an apt and there is no way we can accommodate over 60 people in our tiny apt so we decided to only invite my parents and siblings.

4. I have been envious of pregnant women. Seeing a bump just makes me feel all warm and long to get pregnant again. I know this is selfish, I just had a baby three month ago but the feeling is real. Any how we are not avoiding so there is a possiblity but the infertile me knows that I may not be able to get pregnant easily so for now I am going to do nothing and enjoy my gift. I will start charting since AF showed up twice already.