Thursday, July 24, 2014

Quitting HCG

I know I mostly talk about cycles, pain, infertility and endometriosis mostly but this is my reality and some day I will have more interesting and happy blog posts. 

I tried the HCG injections post ovulation last cycle.  I had terrible cramps and AF was once again the most painful time of my cycle like old times without the excessive bleeding.   I haven't had this much pain in the days leading to my cycle in months.   I can't think of anything but the HCG being the cause. 

Usually the most painful time is right after period up to ovulation.   In the last couple of months the endo pain was somewhat tolerable.  I didn't have tension headaches daily, or my pelvic and butt weren't to the point of me having to massage/beat it under a hot shower to get the knots out.   I still had pain but it wasn't pain where I had to lye down ever few hours.   After the HCG shots and painful AF, all have returned.  I was hoping HCG will at least stabilize me hormonally or help lessen the pain but that isn't the case.  The last two weeks have been horrible especially this week.   I wake up with a headache and pain up to my ears every day this week.    TTC this week is out of the question, I have been in too much pain to want to do that.  In addition, I don't even know if I ovulated or  not, I haven't noticed any fertile CM and I am on CD14.  

My gut tells me that I should stop the HCG.  I know I only took it for one cycle but I can't risk it. In addition to all the physical pain,  the pain of infertility reared its head when AF showed up.   For a day I was convinced that I was pregnant because of all the pre-pregnancy symptoms.  Yes please slap me.   The next day it all came crashing down and for half a day I was in that desperate state and I had to pull myself out of it.   I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that MH will most likely be an only child.  

My doctor suggested I take estradiol in addition to HCG to raise my estradiol level post peak.  That will not be happening.  No HCG, estradiol or progesterone for now.    I need to listen to my gut feeling.

Thursday, July 17, 2014


1. My niece graduated from high school and her parents had a party for her last Sat.  Huge party, more than 100 people showed up.   Most of the food was catered but I was tasked with making two huge pans of lasagna.   Since you all know my energy level and pain tolerance the work had to be split into two days.  I made the sauce a day before and made the lasagna on Sat morning.   The lasagna came out so good that both pans were gone pretty fast.   Of course I didn't test it since I am off gluten but the sauce was pretty good.  There were non left for the late comers.  We stopped by my sisters the day after the party for lunch.  They had some kind of yellow cake and I caved in and took three bites.  Lets just say my energy level was fine on Sunday but by Monday I was so sluggish and had a migraine like headache and I knew it is the gluten.  It took three days to get out of the funk. I had mild digestive issue for a day but the headache and fatigue were not fun and I just got around to mopping my floor that was suppose to be done on Monday.  I learned my lesson. 

2.  After cramping for four days AF showed up never be able to deal with the disappointment of AF arriving when TTC.  It has been six years since we first started to TTC, why is it so hard to deal with the disappointment?   I drank a lot of raspberry tea to deal with the cramps.  I should have drank it post ovulation too, it had made a huge difference in elevating my PMS.

3. I need to go see my Thyroid doctor.  Last time I saw her I was suppose to be on T3 twice a day in addition to desiccated thyroid twice a day.  I couldn't tolerate the T3 even at a lower dose so I stopped.  I also couldn't tolerate the 2nd dose of desiccated thyroid.   I was on T3 only for a few years but once I added the desiccated thyroid I couldn't tolerate T3.   So for the last few months I have only been taking desiccated thyroid in the morning.  I raised it by half a pill this morning.  I would like to split it twice a day instead of taking it all in the morning.  But I keep forgetting the afternoon dose so now I am taking all in the morning.   Is it best to take desiccated thyroid on an empty stomach?  I always take it 30 min before I eat breakfast and that had worked fine for me.  But I think I need to raise my level since my T4 was slightly lower on this dose so before I even go back to my doctor and do labs I want to raise it and see how I do.    

6.  Right now I am in less meds that I was for the last few years.  I am only taking the desiccated thyroid and prenatal vitamins and occasionally B12.   I am thinking of adding pycnogenol to my supplement to see if it helps the endo pain.   I don't do so well with a lot of meds, I feel overloaded especially my digestive system. 

7. I wouldn't have minded going to my doctor every two-three month as planned but I can't.  She doesn't take insurance which means I pay $300-400 out of pocket for each visit.  I can only do that twice a year.   I think I may have to find another doctor close by that would take insurance and treats with desiccated thyroid.  

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Not Feeling So Hot on HCG

Today is p+13.  Since I started taking the HCG I have had nausea and cramps.  The cramps were faint but now I am hit with almost unbearable cramps and lower back pain.   The nausea is here even after 4 days of the last HCG injection but fading.     Emotionally I am fine, no hormonal crash.   The last few unmediated cycles were much better than what I am going through right now.  We shall see what the next few cycles are going to be like on HCG before I decide to stop or continue to take it. 

I am also not too impressed with my p+7 numbers on HCG

Progesterone: 13 ng/mL
Estradiol:  82 pg/mL  (low)

They also did a test to determine ovarian reserve and that number is low, more in line with premenopausal.  Oh well, I didn't expect anything better. 

My boobs hurt, I am cramping and no bleeding yet.   This better be pregnancy symptoms, if not this is not funny.   Then again the cramps are too painful to be pregnancy symptoms.  Not loving HCG at all. 

I bought those cheap HPT tests a while back and the reviews for them were mixed.   Since I have HCG in my system I thought it would be good to test and see if they work.  It was negative on cd12 so those tests must either be crappy or HCG leaves my body running.  

I have toddler parked in front of the TV.  Going to sip some tea and relax.


Thursday, July 3, 2014


1.  The other day we went in to a bread bakery that recently opened.  When you walk in you are hit with the most wonderful smell and it smelled so delicious.  So we looked around for a bit and DH said he didn't want anything.  Since I can't eat gluten we didn't buy any bread.   So that night I dreamt that I was baking all kinds of bread, with all kinds of seeds and eating all night.   I am usually over gluten, there is always bread for toddler and DH in the home but I never cheat.   If I cheat usually it is a few bites of fried chicken that I make for DH.  But I guess I can only take so much.  Hehehe, I ate so much bread in my dream that I woke up satisfied.  

2.  Moving on to TTC, I am on P + 7 and has done two HCG injection so far.  I had a blood draw today so we shall see where the progesterone/estradiol levels are.  I knew that I might start getting pregnancy symptoms because of the HCG but thought much later than P + 7.  I have had faint nausea and slightly tender boobs since yesterday.   I don't find these symptoms fun.  I am assuming it will increase the more HCG I inject.  I know that HCG might improve PMS but I don't know if I am ready to trade the PMS with a new set of symptoms.   Plus the last few cycles my PMS was at a minimum with out meds but I think that is due to Red raspberry leaf tea I have been drinking for the last two months.  

3. Since DH is only working par time in the summer we have been watching the World Cup every single day since it started.   This afternoon we didn't know what to do with ourselves since there is no scheduled game.  We are loving all the intense games.  So much fun  and screaming.. 

4. We have a lot of family drama going on.  My sister is filing for a divorce.  The spouse is putting the kids in between their fight and it is a sad and dangerous situation all around.   You know the things that you thought will never happen in your family and they are slowly unfolding in front of your eyes and you are left with the feeling that you are watching a movie.  Oh boy, I am praying for the kids that they come out of this situation sane.  It is that serious and it is stressing me out.  I am so mad at the parents. Kids are teen and preteen years and are not mature enough to handle all the craziness that is around them.  It is very sad for everybody watching and we can't do anything to prevent the situation.

5. During the summer our upstairs get really hot if we don't have the temp way down.  So one night we decided to crash in the basement where we watch TV.  We put a few comforters on top of  thick rug and it has served us so well.  In addition to getting a decent sleep in a cool place my back is thanking me.  I used to get up in pain and would have to walk around for it to slowly subside but now I walk up stretched.  The only down side is the hard surface gives me lower back pain since I have a curved back and not being full supported.  I am trying to work around it so that we spend the entire summer in the basement.   We will have to change our mattress in the winter and get something very firm.