Even though I still feel like crap it seem like I am having a normal cycle. By "normal" meaning the normal for me. I know my cycles and hormonal profile most likely way off the norm. I have had four days of plenty of CM this cycle. Today is CD11 so ovulation is within a day. It gives me hope that after surgery things are falling in to place. The last cycle being 17 days scared me a little. I still have the preovulatory migraine headaches which also creep up a few days before AF.
On other news I have surprised myself on how open I have became about my IF situation. I have told a couple of people at work because the subject naturally comes up when people ask me how I am doing after my surgery. At this point I really don't care if the whole world knows about our situation. My immediate family and most of my relatives who care to ask also know.
The last couple of month I have come to accept. I have accepted that we may or may not be able to have a baby. I have promised my self that I will do what feels right as far as treatment. At this point IUIs and IVFs are totally out of the question. At the beginning of our infertility we attempted a couple of IUIs and thinking back that I was so uncomfortable with it and that I had literally drugged my husband in to making that decision. Hopefully this state of calmness will stay for good.