WTH!

Is it possible that you can have Endo pain 6 weeks after surgery, it can't possible come back in such a short time. Today and yesterday I have been getting lower back pain, numbing pain and tinglly feeling around the pelvic area. What the hell could this be? It may be ovarian cysts. This is just not helping my already sour mood.

Today was a good day besides the pain, I managed to stay at work the whole day. Towards the end of the day arm pain radiates up my neck and head. My headache has been getting worse by the hour.

I am mad at DH today. He just came back a week ago from vacation and I was looking forward having him around today. However he has this thing he goes to with friends once a month and today is the day. I had planned for us to go out and get a few things we need for our apt but he is not around. I am kind of upset that he left me here alone and he is out having fun. Part of it is the frustration of not having enough energy to go out and hang out with friends or family. I thought about it and I am too tired to be driving. I rather be in bed and blog :)

On other news I went for my thyroid ultrasound today. They said they will fax the result to my Dr. by the afternoon. I may just pick up a copy for my file on Monday.

My health issue is getting old. I am tired of talking about it. I am tried of people asking me how I feel etc.

Got Blood?

Holy Cow! I went to give blood yesterday for all the tests that Dr. C ordered. First of all I was already in my morning funk, i.e. fatigue, foggy and unable to concentrate. I get in to Lab Corp and the place was full at 8:30am. I was tempted to head back to my car since I had no energy for a long wait. Then I saw an empty seat and decided to wait for 10 min and see. The line went by quick enough and I was called within 20 min. I swear I probably gave about 12 vials of blood if not more. How much blood can a woman weighting 108lb and a history of anemia give at one time? I warned the lady that I might pass out after all is done. She also said she might have to stick me on both arms if one wasn't enough. Luckily she managed to get all from one arm. I went to work after and only lasted until lunch. All of a sudden I was cold, numb, dizzy and my pressure headache was getting worse. I put on my sweater and that didn't help so I sneaked out of work and went home and sat for a couple of hours. My life truly SUCKS BIG TIME. How am I going to be able to handle the cycle long hormonal test where I have to give blood every three day or so. Some prayer need here.

RG

Dr. App.

I had my appointment with the MD that specializes in the treatment of Thyroid and adrenal hormones. The whole experience was pleasant. Dr. C. talked to me for more than 40 minutes going over symptoms and health history. I told her about my primary Dr. telling me to get over it in so many words. She voiced her frustration with the standard Dr. care and was surprised that the Endocrinologist I went to did not test for T3 & T4 hormones. Anyhow she said all my symptoms indicate hypothyroidism but she also wants to check my adrenal hormones. She said she would have given me drugs for my thyroid today but wanted to know my adrenal hormone status first. We agreed that Dr. S will take care of the progesterone/estrogen testing since I am doing the cycle long hormonal test with him. She also gave me an order for Thyroid ultrasound since my glands seem to be a little swollen. The following are the tests that were ordered.
Cortisol Saliva 24hours
DHEA Saliva

Blood Work:
Aldosterone assay
Blood counts with platelets and complete differential
DHEA-S
Ferritin
Free T4, Free T3
Reverse T3
TSH
Lipid Panel
Magnesium level RBC
Pregnenolone
Sedimentation Rate, non-automated
Selenium
Serum Folic Acid
Serum Iron
Thyroglobulin Antibody
TPO Microsomal Antibody
Total Cortisol AM
Vitamin B-12
Vitamin D, include fractions
Zinc

So my next appointment is in 3 weeks. Yep, forget the three month wait with Dr. S to get some relief for my Thyroid issues. I got the Adranal Saliva kit from her office which I will be shipping out to the lab this week. I was so happy that there is this Dr. sitting next to me and listening to all the symptoms that I am experiencing and not rushing me out of her office in 15 minutes like most other Drs. It was all too good and at some point I was really emotional and shaded some tears. Just knowing that there is a strong possibility of relief from all the awful symptoms I am feeling is trilling. Sometimes I surprise myself for being able to get up and make it to work etc feeling this way for so long. The last couple of years have been constant pain and fatigue which now is accompanied with migraine headaches. The possibility of some relief sure gives me hope.

In cycle news, it seem like my cycle is normalizing after surgery. I had more than 6days of fertile CM. I also ovulated on day 14 I believe which makes me very excited. Prior to surgery my pre-ovulatory phase was pretty short, so it looks like this will be a 28 day cycle and not the usual 25 day.
My DH is back from visiting his family and I am very excited to have him back. While he was gone I spent some quality time with my Mom and family.

Normal Cycle ? May be

Even though I still feel like crap it seem like I am having a normal cycle. By "normal" meaning the normal for me. I know my cycles and hormonal profile most likely way off the norm. I have had four days of plenty of CM this cycle. Today is CD11 so ovulation is within a day. It gives me hope that after surgery things are falling in to place. The last cycle being 17 days scared me a little. I still have the preovulatory migraine headaches which also creep up a few days before AF.

On other news I have surprised myself on how open I have became about my IF situation. I have told a couple of people at work because the subject naturally comes up when people ask me how I am doing after my surgery. At this point I really don't care if the whole world knows about our situation. My immediate family and most of my relatives who care to ask also know.

The last couple of month I have come to accept. I have accepted that we may or may not be able to have a baby. I have promised my self that I will do what feels right as far as treatment. At this point IUIs and IVFs are totally out of the question. At the beginning of our infertility we attempted a couple of IUIs and thinking back that I was so uncomfortable with it and that I had literally drugged my husband in to making that decision. Hopefully this state of calmness will stay for good.

I feel like I hit the Jack Pot

I was sitting at work today with the most horrible foggy headache and thinking how I am going to survive with this headaches (not to menion the fatigue) for another month or so before I get any help. It is clear that I do have adrenal hormone issues and most likely I may have hypothyroidism. So I decided to call the Dr. that integrates western medicine/TCM and more in her treatment. The first time I called to make an appointment they put me in for end of Sep since they had no openings earlier. So today I was prepared to beg for an earlier appointment and the receptionist checks and says Oh we have an opening next Tuesday. You have no idea how happy that makes me. This means I can take the Saliva test earlier and it would be from an experienced Dr. I feel like I am cheating on Dr. S by going to this Dr. but hey this is a life and death situation. Plus Dr. S has no experience with Saliva tests, it is a new thing for him. When I go for my appointment next week I plan to break down and cry or do anything I have to do to get this Dr. to help me sooner. I am despirate.

Happy

I found a pain management Dr. who incorporates acupuncture and massage therapy in the treatment. My first appointment was yesterday and I left very happy. The appointment lasted about 1.5hours. First they treated my lower back with some massage and then I was off to acupuncture to treat my neck, head, upper back and abdominal area. Then it followed with 30 min of deep back massage which left me totally relaxed. Of course the deep massage was my favorite part. I went in with the most horrible headache and it lifter a little bit after my treatment. Every muscle hurt during the massage. I got home, ate lunch and took a 2h nap. All in all a good day. I even had some energy at the end of the day to make it to the mall. I am loving this place and to top it off they take my insurance and are a 10 min drive from my home. I made an appointment for next Sat morning, this will be my Sat morning ritual for a few months, couldn't be more happy.

The Dr. who was doing the acupuncture told me I have very low energy and he asked me if cloudy/rainy days affect me; right on the money. I do much better on sunny days, yesterday was cloudy and driving to the Dr's office was painful. He told me to do some Yoga and aerobic exercise.

On other news, Dr. S office will be sending me instructions to do the blood hormonal test starting next cycle. However they informed me that the Saliva test kit will take three weeks before they can send it to me. Apparently they still don't have the kits in the office.
I made an appointment with the Dr. who treats adrenal/thyroid issues but they don't have any opening until the end of Sep. So back to more waiting.

Again

On Friday I noticed a hint of blood and thought may be this is due to ovulation. I haven't seen fertile CM since CD7/8 and it just disappeared. So I figured I must be having a delayed ovulation due to surgery & stress. Any way come Sunday AF is here. Yep, at CD17 AF is here. I am at a loss. Not only did I bleed for 11 days after surgery my period came so I had 15 days of total bleeding after surgery. And now at CD17 I am going through the same thing. I have never had a cycle this short before. I have no idea what my body is trying to do. I am afraid that all this bleeding is going to leave me anemic. It is going to be interesting to see what the next cycle will be like. What is more frustrating is the fact that Dr. S wants to see a few regular cycles before doing the hormonal test.

If One More Dr....

When I went to the emergency room a week after my surgery the blood test showed that I had elevated liver enzymes. My primary Dr. told me to come back in a few weeks to retest. So this afternoon I went. The last time I saw her was for a general checkup 6 months ago. I have been seeing this doctor for more than 8 years. So I told her the last few months ordeal, telling her about my debilitating Endo pain, migraine like headaches and all that came with it before my surgery. This is a woman that knows I have had constant fatigue off and on since I have been seeing her due to low iron, recurring H. P.ylori infections, Endo etc.

After she took my blood she said I have a story to tell you and goes in to telling me about her cousin who was complaining for years of fatigue and generally not feeling well. She said she always thought the woman was making things up and just being a spoiled princess :). So this cousin donates her kidney to her husband and after recovery she said she has never felt better. Can you believe the nerve of this woman. So she is indirectly telling me that I am a big complainer that I should get over it. I wanted to say may be she needed one less kidney to feel better. May be I need to give away a Kidney to stop complaining :). After years of Doctors telling me that I am a big baby for complaining about PMS, period cramps, pelvic pain etc. she adds to the pain. I simply said glad it all worked out for your cousin and walked out. All I wanted for her is to do the stupid blood test and nothing else knowing that she can't do anything for me.

If one more Dr. tells me to get over it I am going to lose it and start cursing.

MOM

Since my DH left my Mom has been staying with me. I am so grateful that I have her around. She has been feeding me constantly. She has worked very hard all her life raising eight kids. She has issues with having other people do things for her. She gets up early and is on her feet all day accomplishing random tasks.
I am so different in many ways. I am not an early person, at times lazy, hate to clean and have no passion for the sewing, gardening and multiple other thing she does. She has been the rock of our family. I wish it is the other way around, me doing the taking care of. Sometimes it makes me sad that I can't do the simple things I need to do for her. These couple of weeks I have needed her more than anything. Work is taking a toll on me and I have no energy to do anything. I am not in the best of mood either so having her around helps. I pray that some day I will be strong enough to take care of her when she needs me.

On TTC

During my post-opt visit I told Dr. S that it would not be a good idea for us to start TTC. Even if we start I doubt that it will happen since I know my health is not optimal to support a pregnancy. He did agree that we should wait until the hormonal issues get resolved. I am actually at peace with this decision. The only thing that worries me is losing time due to my advance age :). However I believe this will be the best decision. In the mean time DH will have to do SA analysis and I will have to focus on getting answers in a timely manner and not waist time.

Today is CD10 and I haven't seen any fertile mucus. I saw a little bit 4 days ago but that kind of went away. I usually ovulate by day 12 but may be there is a delay here since this is the first cycle after surgery.

RG