Sitting

Once again I am sitting at home on a Friday night. DH went out with his friends, I am in no position for company. Over the last few days I have been extremely tired in the afternoons. Its Cd 24 and AF is around the corner. I usually do feel sleepy and tired right before AF but this time it is very intense. No, No I know better not to think of this as a pregnancy symptom. I already have mild cramps so definitely AF will be here soon.

Its past 8 pm and I haven't made dinner. I have been stuck to my sofa for the last few hours. I have no interest or the energy for cooking right now.

I am a little down but accepting that the Lap surgery will not happen next cycle which means I will not be able to go on Vacation with DH. I was counting that if I had the Lap in June it will be enough time to recovery by July to go on Vacation. DH wants to go home to see his parents, its been two years since we saw them last. Not looking forward to his absence. I plan to spend quality time with my Mom and family while he is gone.

RG

Stuck

I feel like I am stuck at this point. Still haven't heard from my Na.pro Dr. on surgery schedule, makes me think may be I should find another Dr. Driving more than 5-10 min is out of the question, my eyes are blurry and my brain is foggy not to mention the dull constant Endo pain. I don't know if the blurry vision is related to Endo but it has gotten worse the last two month or so.

I have been reading a lot on Vitamin D deficiency. It seem indeed some of my symptoms could be related to Vitamin D deficiency, I reviewed my medical records and the only time I got tested was two month ago where numbers came low. For some reason I thought this was included in the routine yearly blood work check up.
It seem like vitamin D is related to infertility, gluten intolerance & also Endo which I have all three.

My Endocrinologist got back to me on the hormone test on Cd 1. He tested for DHEA, progesterone, estrodiol, testosterone, prolactin, cortisol, FSH & TSH. All were within the normal range. Then why do I feel like crap?

I have been seeing a Physical Therapist who specializes in pelvic pain. On my last session she was checking around my stomach and found a painful spots on both sides that I wasn't aware of. She said it seem like connective tissue issues and it was so painful when she massaged it. She is a very nice lady and very laid back. PT for pelvic pain is worse than going to the OBGYN, at least at the OBGYN you are exposed for a short time. Here they work on both internal and external pelvic muscles and boy the internal part is not pleasent to say the least. I am hoping this helps my pain soon, I don't think I can stand the a$$ poking for long, it is gross as hell.

My husband's cousin who is frantically planning her wedding is pregnant. She is in her early 40's, I am happy for her but can't help but feel a little jealous.

Here is an interesting blog I found while reading on vitamin D

http://infertility-fertility.blogspot.com/

RG

Impatient

Its been a week since I e-mailed my chart to my Dr. and I haven't heard back from him. I am aware that the wait can be long for surgery but I need to know the possibility of when it can happen. I am not a very patient person, my husband reminds of this on a daily bases :) but I am really trying. So I broke down and e-mailed the Dr. and asked if he has gotten a chance to look at my chart and when I can schedule surgery. Hope he doesn't think I am being too pushy. I also need to tell my job of my schedule since they are allowing me to work from home.
Recently so many bloggers who have been seeing Nap.ro Drs are expecting. This gives me so much hope. But right now all the focus will be getting to feel better.

Since I have been working form home I have also been thinking if I should take a year off working and focus on getting well and TCC. Lots of thoughts going through my head. Haven't mentioned it to my husband yet. If this has to happen then our hopes of buying a house will have to be put on hold and we may struggle a little bit financially. But it could all be worth it. But then again I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I quit work. So many things going through my mind.

RG

Stuff

Usually on Mother's day we get together for lunch or dinner with my parents and siblings. Being from another country, our culture doesn't have a Mother's day. However, we do get together since we all live close to each other. Mother's day wasn't any harder for me than any other day.

I bumped in to a friend I lost touch with this past week. The last time I talked to her was when she was pregnant with her third child which was unplanned. She was trying to go back to school at the time and boom she was pregnant. Anyhow when she saw me the other day with my husband with no child to show for she said "you still don't have a baby?"-I don't think I have talked to her about our IF situation. She followed with "you are being selfish for not having a baby by now". Wow, what do you say to that, I smiled and said nothing and since her husband seem to be in a hurry with the kids running around we exchanged numbers and parted. Would I have said something like that if I had no issues with fertility, I doubt it. But her words hit me like a brick. People have no clue. Even if I chose not to have kids what gives her the right to call me selfish. If she has asked me nicely I would have said we are trying and it is just not happening for us.

On the health front my Nap.ro Dr. has me on mega dose of Vitamin D and thinks that some of my symptoms are because of the vitamin D deficiency. I just took my first dose and man my stomach is already unhappy. I Still don't have a date for surgery, anxiously waiting.

Frustrated

I have been waiting for the Na.pro Doc. to get back to me on a possible surgery date. The problem is I have been working from home this week because of the pain. Driving is out of the question so I had to stay home. I sent the Dr. my peak date on Wed. and haven't heard from him. I know it is only been a couple of days but I was hoping for the possibility of having the surgery soon. My period will be here on the 2nd/3rd which means I will have to schedule surgery end of next week or early the following week. I ovulate on day 10-12 so preovulatory phase is pretty short which makes it difficult to fit surgery this soon. Just beyond frustrated. I am stuck home on a Friday night watching TV for the million times.

On the positive note at least my job allows me to work from home for a short time so I am Thankful for it.

RG

On Cycle Front

I had typed out a history of my cycle for the last few years for the new Dr. detailing all my symptoms. I had noted that my cycle is regular 25-28 days for most of these years except when I was on the progesterone cream last fall. The first cycle I started charting using Crei.ghton model my cycle ended up being 31 days. I don't remember the last time I had a 31 day cycle. To top it off I had too much CM on a daily bases which made identifying Peak day challenging. In addition it seemed that I had two peak days, I started to see fertile CM on days 10-12 which is normal for me but then no ovulatory pain, after a few days of non fertile CM I had another Peak day. So it seem like I had a delayed ovulation. My instructor said this happens when people are under stress. Well this throws off my insisting that I have regular 25/27 day cycles so I couldn't make an appointment for the surgery. The Dr. said I need to wait until I had the next Peak day. Same for the hormone profile test, I would have to wait until another full cycle passes.

Everything was off from the norm this past cycle, I don't know where all the CM came from, I was struggling with having too little peak type CM the last few month. This cycle I ovulated on day 10, odd again, usually it happens on day 12. Last cycle and this cycle have been one of the hardest emotionally and physical. I am in pain on a daily bases and the headache seems to stay for good. Can't wait to get the hormone panel test done, it should be an interesting profile.

Update on Dr's Visit

Since I have read experiences of other bloggers that have gone to the Na.pro Dr. I went to I pretty much knew what to expect. Although I waited for almost an hour to see the Dr. I say it was a good visit and I am glad that I made the trip. He took his time to go through all my symptoms and plan of action for the next few months. The actually examination was painful & gross it needed to be done. So as expected I will be having a Laparoscopy surgery in the next few month, I can't wait. I have so much hope riding on this surgery, I want to be pain free even if it is for a short term. I will be doing the hormone panel and other tests starting next cycle. He has also suggested that I see a physical therapist that specializes in Women's health and Pelvic pain. The question now is how do I make it until surgery and other treatment. I am going to try to push for surgery in May but it seem like their schedule is pretty crazy. I can't keep calling in sick at work. Somehow I will have to manage as is for the next couple of months which makes me nervous. But there is hope that I can get some relief here.