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Friday, September 2, 2011
36wks & Terrified of the C word
Thank God for the three day weekend coming up. I need the rest. Earlier this week I kind of crashed, I would come home from work and take a long nap but after a couple of days of extra sleep I am feeling much better.
Baby is still a breech and I am begging her to turn. After going through two laparoscopy surgeries and the painful recovery especially of the 2nd surgery, I just don't want to be cut. I am terrified of C-sections and also feel like I am going to miss out on the experience of being able to go to labor and birth normally. I know I know what matters is a healthy baby and health Mama at the end of it but I need to deal with the emotions that come from not having it the way I imagined it would be. I am 36wks 3 days and the chance of baby turning is slim. I can happen but most likely not I guess. I am doing the slanted positions to get her to turn but I don't want to do anything that is painful or may hurt baby or bring on a labor. She needs to stay in as long as possible since she is small. The fetal medicine specialist says if she is still a breech by end of 38wks we will be scheduling a C-section for 39wks and I am trying to slowly accept my fate and get used to the idea. After all this is the greatest thing that has happened for us and giving birth naturally is a small part of it. I am now going to the fetal specialist twice a week to check for blood flow to the baby and measurements every two weeks. Everything looks great except for her being on the small side.
I left work early today and had lunch/dinner at a nice restaurant with my hubby. There were a few people with babies in the restaurant and hubby and I couldn't stop staring. He is going to be such a great Dad.
My mom will be sleeping in the spare bedroom which will eventually be the baby's bedroom. We have bought a new bed and mattress and making it so cozy so that she stays longer when baby comes :)
I bought the M.ed.la breast pump, so expensive, why does a stupid pump cost $300. I won't open it until it is absolutely needed in case I have to return it.
A co-worker told me she just found out she is pregnant. They weren’t planning on having a second just yet and she is a little overwhelmed. A friend of mine is also pregnant after two month of giving birth. After hearing both news I couldn’t help but think of my infertile self. I am so trilled for them but I was a little jealous even though I am caring a baby myself. Once infertile always infertile I guess. I think of how deeply I would be saddened if I was still waiting for my turn and I heard both announcements.
Hope you all enjoy the long weekend. I sure will be spending it in bed J
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Oh sweetie, I SO understand the whole c-section thing. I really hope she turns for you! I only have a hand pump, but I know where I could rent a big nice one if needed so we'll see, but they are really expensive! CRAZY! And it's always hard to hear of people getting pregnant who didn't want it or don't care about it. I don't think that will ever change. I have a few of those friends right now too, and I'm still feeling sad about it... infertility sucks.
ReplyDeleteMy sisteer in law's second baby was breach, and she went through a procedure at the hospital, I don't know what it was called, where they basically massaged and pushed and tried to get the baby to turn. It didn't work for her, and it was painful, but maybe it is worth a shot. Also, what about a handstand? :)
ReplyDeleteI understand!!!! I have heard acupuncture helps to turn baby! Cheaper then a section. ;)- praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI just came across your blog. I hope that your baby is still able to turn. I know my sister's baby turned even further along. She did cranial sacral therapy. Your last paragraph rang true for me. I was blessed with a miracle baby after nearly five years of suffering infertility. I still feel pangs of jealousy when I hear of pregnancy announcements and quickly have to remind myself not to be jealous as I have my own beautiful blessing!
ReplyDeleteA lurker here who had a breech baby this spring and was able to have him turned by external version (what imusthave was referring to). It took about thirty seconds and was not that uncomfortable for me. I was just shy of 38 weeks at the time and ideally, the OB wanted to try it sooner, but I wanted a little more time to try to get the baby to turn naturally. They told me ahead of time that either it would work quickly or they would just stop--they weren't going to push the baby or me around for a long time. They gave me a muscle relaxant (which was the worst part about it all--it made me feel jumpy for a while), jellied up my stomach, did an ultrasound to check the baby's position, and then the doc and midwife each grabbed one end of the baby and pushed. I was nervous going into it, but it was so much better than a c-section! Praying that you get the baby turned one way or another.
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