Feeling Good

I am telling you, if God allows it I want to be pregnant every year. I may be speaking too soon but this pregnancy has done wonders for my health. It is an understatement what Endo had done to my health. I have no migraine headaches, no Endo pain except minimal lower back pain most likely due to posture issues because of Endo. My mood is so much better, no more of the hormonal up and down hell. No more of the intense panic attacks.

I have underestimated how much the Endo had control of my life. I knew that the hormonal issues did contribute to the anxiety and over all well being. But boy do I feel so much better. Over the last couple of weeks my anxiety level has gone down significantly. When I have a physically and mentally challenging day at work with multiple deadlines and all day meetings I use to wake up multiple times during the night and break down in tears before I go to work. This pregnancy has given me some break. I have actually given a couple of presentations the last couple of day with minimally panic moments. Obviously it takes some time to recover mentally even if the physical aspect of it has been taken care of.

Therapy is going ok but I don't think it is helping me much. My therapist is a very kind and gentle woman but I feel like I haven't learnt much over the few secessions we have had. I will keep it going and see how it goes. I still have a long way to go on how to manage physical and emotional stress.

On the pregnancy side I am still experiencing some brown spotting at times which is scary but I had given it to God. There is nothing I am going to bring from being over worried about it. The Progesterone shots are going fine but my butt is numb and sometimes it is really painful. I have gained 5 lb so far and I have only 2 work pants that fit and most likely will not fit me after 2 weeks or so. I went shopping for maternity pants today and it felt really weird. Two month ago I would never have thought I would be in such a store. At the store they tried to get my address and I refused to give it. I am not ready to be flooded with baby advertisements, diaper samples etc. just yet.