I wrote this a week ago and my computer crashed before I could post it.
My oldest sister usually hosts Thanksgiving. Since all my siblings live in the area and see each other pretty often it is just another day of family gathering. My sister went back to work after 10 years at home and she is tired busy so I volunteered to host. I spent Wednesday cooking. I don't like turkey much and have never made it before so I stuck to E.t.hio.pian dishes. As usually I was in pain by the end of it but kept taking pain killers so it wasn't too bad. It was a small gathering with just my sister and her family, my uncle and my parents. Food turned out great and we had a good time. I am grateful for the fact that my family are close by and for all the opportunities this country has to offer. I think the US is the best place to live for any immigrant.
Anyhow as I said most of my siblings are here and I have a lot of extended family. DH's immediate family are back home and although he does have some distant relatives here they are not as close since they only know one another as adults. In addition growing up DH family were isolated from most of his extended family.
Most of the visitors to our home are my family. I live 20 min from my parents and sister's house so there is at least 2-3 times a week someone will pop in especially since my mom spends the weekdays with us. I think this has gotten a little overwhelming for my DH. Since we had MH everyone wants to come visit and I love it but I can see how it can be overwhelming. In addition, I think some of us in the family still operate as if we don't have a family of ours. Decisions sometimes are made without involving spouses. I grew up in an environment where it was close to impossible to be alone. We are a big family but we also had neighbors and extended family visit a lot so for me it actually feels lonely when I don't have people around. I remember when I was a child I would sit in our backyard just to get some alone time. I am trying to be understanding to DH's needs and focus more on just the three of us. DH loves my family and I think all he needs is for my number one priority to be my marriage and kid and then my family. Usually I don't separate the two.
It's so hard to balance everything. My family is great... a little crazy, but overall good. And my in laws are also fabulous... but I am more like your husband, where I get overwhelmed easily and just need "my" family. I'm working on being more open to having family around more often, but it's so hard for me. I just want my husband and my babies! When people visit, I feel like you did as a child... I wish I could go and hide in the backyard for some alone time. LOL. Good luck with this! I hope you can find the perfect balance for your family.
ReplyDelete