Stressed Out

We will be closing on our house in a few weeks and I can't wait for that day so I can finally quit my job.  There is so much negativity and finger pointing that is going on at work that even being there one day is a struggle.  However, all things come to an end and I am trying to be patient and wait these two weeks out.  It feels like 2 years instead of two weeks.  If I could I would have taken the next two weeks off and hand in my resignation when I came back but that is close to impossible.    In the mean time I am trying to fill my head with good thoughts and plans on how to decorate our house, color of hardwood floor and wall paint to choose and so on.  

 

I had extensive blood work done as well as the saliva test for cortsol and DHEA.   My Vitamin D, vitaminB12, magnesium, pregnenolone,  DHEA, Zinc and Iron are low.   The saliva test also shows cortosol on the low side during the day and higher in the evening.   I convinced my Dr. to put me on 5 mg of HC even though she said the levels are not low enough to prescribe HC.   With the supplement and prescription I have 12 pills to take on a daily bases and that is a lot.   I am hoping that this treatment will do the trick for another baby.   My cycles have been a little odd since I stopped breastfeeding, the last cycle was right on the money, 28 days with no spotting and minimally PMS.  The cycle before that lasted 40 days or so.  I am expecting AF any day now, today being 27 days and I am crampy and irritable but not spotting.  I am taking progesterone throughout my cycle day 3-28.  I thought taking progesterone before ovulation affects ovulation but my Dr. tells me other wise.   We are changing it to take only 100 mg from day 3-14 and 200 mg from day 15-28.   Even though AF is right around the corner I am tempted to test since I have two pregnancy sticks looking at me.  I am going to resist until tomorrow.   

So the plan for us is to see if I can get pregnant in the next 6 month.  I am going to take at least 6 months before I start looking for a job.  If we are blessed with a pregnancy then I would be taking at least 1.5 years off.  But the infertile in me says don't plan these things out since it never works out the way we want it. I have promised my self that I will refrain from obsessively taking and thinking about TTC.   

Baby MH is doing great.  She started crawling and is keeping us very busy.   We have been co-sleeping since she was about 3 month old.   We will have to transition her to her own crib soon but will wait until I am out of this job.