Thank God for the three day weekend coming up. I need the rest. Earlier this week I kind of crashed, I would come home from work and take a long nap but after a couple of days of extra sleep I am feeling much better.
Baby is still a breech and I am begging her to turn. After going through two laparoscopy surgeries and the painful recovery especially of the 2nd surgery, I just don't want to be cut. I am terrified of C-sections and also feel like I am going to miss out on the experience of being able to go to labor and birth normally. I know I know what matters is a healthy baby and health Mama at the end of it but I need to deal with the emotions that come from not having it the way I imagined it would be. I am 36wks 3 days and the chance of baby turning is slim. I can happen but most likely not I guess. I am doing the slanted positions to get her to turn but I don't want to do anything that is painful or may hurt baby or bring on a labor. She needs to stay in as long as possible since she is small. The fetal medicine specialist says if she is still a breech by end of 38wks we will be scheduling a C-section for 39wks and I am trying to slowly accept my fate and get used to the idea. After all this is the greatest thing that has happened for us and giving birth naturally is a small part of it. I am now going to the fetal specialist twice a week to check for blood flow to the baby and measurements every two weeks. Everything looks great except for her being on the small side.
I left work early today and had lunch/dinner at a nice restaurant with my hubby. There were a few people with babies in the restaurant and hubby and I couldn't stop staring. He is going to be such a great Dad.
My mom will be sleeping in the spare bedroom which will eventually be the baby's bedroom. We have bought a new bed and mattress and making it so cozy so that she stays longer when baby comes :)
I bought the M.ed.la breast pump, so expensive, why does a stupid pump cost $300. I won't open it until it is absolutely needed in case I have to return it.
A co-worker told me she just found out she is pregnant. They weren’t planning on having a second just yet and she is a little overwhelmed. A friend of mine is also pregnant after two month of giving birth. After hearing both news I couldn’t help but think of my infertile self. I am so trilled for them but I was a little jealous even though I am caring a baby myself. Once infertile always infertile I guess. I think of how deeply I would be saddened if I was still waiting for my turn and I heard both announcements.
Hope you all enjoy the long weekend. I sure will be spending it in bed J