Brutal peri-menopause symptoms

This past week was brutal emotionally and physically.    I haven't had any relief from pain even though I am post ovulation.  Let me back up a bit, last cycle all was going fine, some pain as usual, ovarian pain mid cycle.  I wasn't paying much attention to CM.  So a few days before my period I started cramping, boob pain, nausea, and lower back pain which kept me close to my sofa.  I waited and waited but no AF.  You all know what happens after this, I become convinced that I must be pregnant.  Ha ha.  So by cd17 I given in and pee on a stick and it was negative.   The next day I pee on another stick and get a BFN.  I have not felt this crashed in a long time.  I was so sad and the no period started to worry me on what could be wrong.  So I cramped for a week but no citing of AF.  no spotting, nothing.   So I started googling "no period and cramping" and learn that it is one of peri -menopause symptoms.   Yea, it is strange to have period cramps and never bleed.   So after the cramps stopped back to a preovulatory phase an started to have mid cycle pain at the right time and even saw some CM.  After what felt like ovulation my pain level increased.  My ovaries are hurting and I am blotted and mid section hurts like hell specially when I lay on my belly.  Every day I wake up with pain and a headache this week.  I believe I am p+9 (cd23).   I started drinking Nettle tea in addition to Red clover tea and that could have also contributed to the no AF.    I stopped both this cycle.

It is pretty clear that I haven't given up on getting pregnant even though we are not actively trying and that I have been telling myself that I have given up and moved on.  I guess my mind hasn't but for my sanity I need this to sink in.  

I had an appointment with my Doc to go over my thyroid hormone levels this past Friday.  My appointment was in the morning and I only slept 4 h the night before and I was in pain and in a bad place emotionally.  For the first time ever I cried in my Doctors office.  I just couldn't keep the tears in while explains the pain and roller coaster of the month.  She was so nice about it.  I am not a crier.  If I cry it usually happens in private but it was just too much that day and I was exhausted.

In a lighter note I am enjoying the weather.   We have been looking at preschools around here.  My little girl is turning 4 in Sep and she will start attending for a few days a week once summer is done.