Spoke Too Soon

Here is MH at 4.5 months. Isn't she the cutest thing ever :)

I think I spoke too soon when I blogged about my period the last time. Accompanied with minor cramps I had three days of it during my last cycle, so I thought but it returned a week later and lasted a full week with light bleeding. WTH, never had that before in my life. Although I am grateful that I am feeling emotionally better and that the cramps are almost nonexistent during and before my period, I am a little worried with all the bleeding. I have been anemic for years until my first surgery to remove the Endometriosis so I get a little anxious when I see too much blood. Now I am worried on what is going on inside me, what could be causing the extra bleeding, why did it stop and come back after a week? It also worries me that the road to another pregnancy might be a lot more difficult or impossible at worse. I am trying to have peace with it and enjoy my blessing.

Have I said before that I am really bad at keeping my house in order. My husband points this out once in a while. Our walk in closet is a disaster and it is all my fault. DH said he doesn't want to bring it up anymore because he doesn't want to appear as a nag. But recently the mess has migrated in to his side of the closet and he can't take it anymore :). So on Sunday I spent all day cooking and cleaning. I organized our closet and cleaned the whole house. On Monday morning I was a mess. I walk up feeling dizzy and achy. My back was killing me, apparently I cannot bend to mop the floors and clean my toilet. I felt so sick that I took a 4h nap. I felt better after the nap but this just lets me know how much I can do physically. Its good thing that I was off from work, I would have had to call in sick. I really need to do some kind of exercise to build up my strength but it just can't be strenuous exercise. So the plan is to walk ever day now that the weather is getting better.

Quick Takes

I have become a bad blogger. I admit that I have been lazy but life has also gotten busy with working and baby.

1. MH is 4.5 month old and is 12.5 lb. Small for her age but growing fine. She is such an easy baby as long as she eats. When she is sleepy I just throw her in her crib and she drifts off.

2. I am still breastfeeding. I pump once at lunch. I just can't stand the idea of pumping at work, there are 4 women sharing one pumping room and each pumps at least twice so you can imagine the traffic. She gets about 8-12 ounces of formula and the rest breast milk.

3. Since I have been on the progesterone life has gotten a lot better. I don't have the hormonal ups and downs. My periods have gotten a lot better too. AF showed up yesterday and I didn't know it, I had no glaring symptoms. No brown spotting or debilitating cramps. I felt some light cramps yesterday and by the evening AF has showed up. I don't recall the last time I had symptom free period. I have some faint cramps today and not bad enough to take a pain killer. I have come a long way from where I was just two month ago. I was so miserable hormonally after the baby and it was depressing me.

4. We put an offer for a new home and had a week if we want to back out. By the third day I was ready to back out of the deal so we did. I love the place; I am still not sure why I am having such a hard time making a decision. It is above our price range and a few things I didn't like but overall it had more than we want in a house. This is not something I can sleep on since we had to let the developer know within a few days without losing our deposit. So since I am not sure I have decided to just let it go even if it is painful. Can you tell that I am terrified of being in debt for 30 years? My husband is irritated with my indecisive nature, I don't blame him. I am irritated with myself too :)

5. Dr. S, my Napro Dr. is retiring so I am a little sad. I have decided that we will not actively try for another baby until the summer. I will be seeing the Dr in the same office in the spring to get a base line of my hormones and see if I need to be on the same meds as before. I am in my late 30s so I can't afford to wait any longer.