Thursday, April 9, 2015

peri-menopause or what?

My cycles are driving me nuts.   Its been more than a year now that it hasn't been regular.  I usually have a 40 day cycle, followed by a 16 day cycle and two text book 28day cycles and then back to 40 or 16 day cycle.  This has been going for more than a year.   Gone are the 26-28 day regular cycles.

So I had a 30 day cycle in Jan after a 16 day cycle.  So I was expecting another 28 day cycle.  I had cramps for eight days, deep menstrual cramps and lower back pain that left me exhausted.  On what looked like P+15 I started to think these might be pregnancy symptoms.   So I told myself I will test in the morning on P+16 if I don't seen anything.  So next morning comes  and there was nothing.  I found a stick in the back of my cabinet and peed, BFN.  I cursed a lot under my breath while getting toddler ready and go down to have breakfast.  Then I went to pee and to my surprise I see red. 

I think my head is playing some games with me.  30 min after I tested I see blood.  Ha, what kind of a joke is this.   Once bleeding started the cramps subsided.   If I didn't know better I would have taken the bleeding as implantation because it looked like old blood and it was very scanty.  So two days of very light flow followed by a day of spotting and I was done.  The cramps felt like I was going to bleed a bucketful.   After my period ended I was bracing myself for the usual pre-ovulatory endometriosis pain, instead I was hit with fatigue and lower back pain for a good five days.  Over the weekend while we were out I barely said anything, not intentional just was way too tired to even have a conversation and my DH was thinking I was feeling sick.   So I stayed low and slept it off.  I immediately started taking picnogenol which I had stopped taking for a month or so.  The fatigue has lifted and the pain is tolerable.  I saw fertile CM around cd7 which disappeared a few days later.  So I am bracing myself for a 16 day cycle. 

What is really bothering me is on top of the pain having more than a week of cramping before AF.  Usually the post ovulation my pain lessens and that is when I recuperate for the next pre-ovulatory pain.  

This looks awfully like peri-menopause symptoms.  Irregular cycles, minimal bleeding, hormonal ups and downs, wacked up CM etc.    We have stopped actively trying but we are not avoiding either.  It has been more than a year since the last failed pregnancy so there is a very slim chance of it ever happening. 

I have to stop myself from associating certain symptoms with pregnancy and just accept that this is what peri-menopause looks like and wait for all of it to end.    In the meantime I will go hide under a rock.


1 comment:

  1. Oh my word. LOL. That little story about BFN and then AF showing up... that is so my life!!! Our bodies are definitely playing tricks on us. I'm sorry this is all so miserable for you. I hope it clears up soon.