I hope everyone had a blessed Easter. I didn't fast for Easter but I did go meatless for the entire time so that is a plus. May be next year I would be able to do vegan only. My DH and my mom always fast so my only meal that consists of non lent food were the eggs and cheese I consume for breakfast.
We had some family drama over the last month that left me very angry and sad. I wasn't motivated to do much of anything so I wasn't sure I wanted to host Easter lunch. Then I thought it and it would only be my sister, parents and my brother's family. I still would have to cook for us so I figured either way I am going to end up doing a lot. So two days spent prepping food. E.th.opian food requires a lot of onions so I spent a day chopping all the ingredients. We moved it to dinner instead of lunch and we had a peaceful low key lunch with my hubby and little girl.
So I guess I will move on to the reason for the title of the post. For the first time in years I am feeling less burdened with infertility. The last few months we have been avoiding and that has given me such peace. I am finding myself talking and thinking about infertility less and less and that is such a blessing. At this point I don't care if I ever get pregnant again. I would welcome if it happens but I have had enough of the torture and I want out. I have a Napro Dr. appointment on Friday that I made a few months ago. I wanted to cancel it once I found out I had no scar tissue in my uterus. I know my Napro Dr. is going to suggest HCG shots but I don't think I want to go there. I asked my DH if we should keep the appointment, and we came to a decision that we at least should see her one more time and go from there.
I feel a little guilty that I want to stop TTC because that would mean toddler will be an only child. I feel that may be I am not fighting hard enough since I a able to get pregnant but unable to stay pregnant so I tell myself at least we have the first hurdle figured out. But then again the guilty feeling only last a short time and I am just back to the happy feeling of not being burdened by 2WW.
So I am on the final works of possibly closing shop and for the most part it makes me happy.