Settling

Its been almost a month since I quit my job and also moved in in to our new home.  Things have been going good for the most part.  Our sofa finally was delivered last week so we are happy we have a place to sit.  We are still looking for a dining table.  We wanted a black/brown leather cushion on the chairs so it is easy to clean but can't seem to find that around the furniture stores in town.  I came to realize that I am not very good at decorating a home.  I want to be good at it but I lack the patient and also the designer gene :).   I have watched hours of HGTV and it doesn't help.  I still have to pick area rugs, curtains, and a few other things.  We have MH's first birthday party in a few weeks.  It would be a birthday/house warming party together and we have to get the place ready.

On the stay at home front I have been enjoying it.  I love waking up with my daughter and spending moments with her doing her morning bla bla.  She is really funny.   The girl can talk.  We usually wake up at around 8am and spend some time cuddling and talking before we go down for breakfast.  I love spending time with my mom sipping some good Ethi.opian coffee after breakfast.  The fact that my mom is with us during the weekdays is huge for me.  I enjoy spending time with her and also being able to do other things while she watches the baby.

MH is standing assisted.  She is now 11 month old.  She can also go up the stairs and also attempting standing unassisted.  She is still small, about 20 lb.  She has her 9 month Dr. appointment coming up (yes I know we are late).  Last week she caught her first cold and has fully recovered.

Moving on to the not so much fun topic.  I have been struggling with intense anxiety for the last few weeks.  I don't know if it is because of the change that took place over the last month or if I was beat up physically with all the stress of work, finally quitting and moving that my body is responding to it now.  Some days I am miserable, especially when I have time to myself and not distracted.   I am fearful of a lot of things including going out of the house alone.   I had also started taking HC, only took it for a few wks because I felt like it was making my anxiety worse.   I am on oral progesterone since 3 month postpartum but stopped taking it for 10 days pre-ovulatory to see if it is  in fact causing the non-ovulatory cycles.   I think that also added to it so I am now on progesterone through out my cycle.  My endo pain has been elevated,  I think it is due to increased physical activity.   I don't know what to do.   Please let me know if you have any advice.  It it just too frustrating to say the least.