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Thursday, March 13, 2014
Not Meant To Be
My due date for the first miscarriage is on April 2nd. A couple of days ago my mind got lost on what could have been and I felt really angry and sad. We lost our baby between 7-8wks of pregnancy and all though it was an early loss it doesn't make it easer.
My mind goes there, on what could have been if we did not lose our baby. Right now I would have been so excited and anxious to meet our baby. The whole family would have been in anticipation of meeting a new life. I would be puffy on the face, feet swollen and tired but happily tired. My husband would have graced me with his beautiful smile ever time he sees my swollen belly. I would have been folding tiny outfits, soft blankets and overcome with joy for the life inside me. My mother & sisters would be preparing food and helping to get the house ready for guests. Most of all toddler MH's life would have changed for the better even though she wouldn't have know it.
It wasn't meant to be. I miss my baby.
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I am so sorry. I understand all of this a little too well. It is a loss of a child. It is horrible and heart wrenching and there is no making up for it. I still always think about when my baby would've been born, and how old he/she would be and how much better I think that would've been for my family, more siblings and closer together. So hard. I'm sorry. Wish I could give you big hugs!
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