Quitting HCG

I know I mostly talk about cycles, pain, infertility and endometriosis mostly but this is my reality and some day I will have more interesting and happy blog posts. 

I tried the HCG injections post ovulation last cycle.  I had terrible cramps and AF was once again the most painful time of my cycle like old times without the excessive bleeding.   I haven't had this much pain in the days leading to my cycle in months.   I can't think of anything but the HCG being the cause. 

Usually the most painful time is right after period up to ovulation.   In the last couple of months the endo pain was somewhat tolerable.  I didn't have tension headaches daily, or my pelvic and butt weren't to the point of me having to massage/beat it under a hot shower to get the knots out.   I still had pain but it wasn't pain where I had to lye down ever few hours.   After the HCG shots and painful AF, all have returned.  I was hoping HCG will at least stabilize me hormonally or help lessen the pain but that isn't the case.  The last two weeks have been horrible especially this week.   I wake up with a headache and pain up to my ears every day this week.    TTC this week is out of the question, I have been in too much pain to want to do that.  In addition, I don't even know if I ovulated or  not, I haven't noticed any fertile CM and I am on CD14.  

My gut tells me that I should stop the HCG.  I know I only took it for one cycle but I can't risk it. In addition to all the physical pain,  the pain of infertility reared its head when AF showed up.   For a day I was convinced that I was pregnant because of all the pre-pregnancy symptoms.  Yes please slap me.   The next day it all came crashing down and for half a day I was in that desperate state and I had to pull myself out of it.   I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that MH will most likely be an only child.  

My doctor suggested I take estradiol in addition to HCG to raise my estradiol level post peak.  That will not be happening.  No HCG, estradiol or progesterone for now.    I need to listen to my gut feeling.