Surviving

It has been a difficult month to say the least.  After 3 wks of sleep trouble (getting up in the middle of the night with palpitation and pain in my arm and shoulder), last week I started taking Advil before going to bed and it has saved me so far.  I don't take it ever night but if I think I am going to need it I will take it. 

I saw a cardiologist last week and had another ECG done and all looked normal.  I am pretty sure my heart is OK but It doesn't hurt to check it.  I will go in for a stress test next week and will be monitoring my heart for three weeks (waiting for the monitor to arrive).  

After paying more attention to my symptoms it appears that the issue is most likely my endometriosis flaring up.  I started to notice that I am having more pain on the left side around my hips and it feels like when I move sometimes I get a dull internal pain.  It almost feels like there is some restriction there, like my colon is stuck to something.   The pain quickly radiates throughout my left leg and also left hands and chest.  I have noticed this through out the day when I have stood/sat for to long or is holding toddler.  For at least one or twice a day I would have to lay flat on the floor and stretch it out which helps a lot.

I am a little depressed about this, I am frustrated and tired of dealing with the same issues day in day out.  I guess the endo flare is due to using estrogen suppository, I expected it but didn't think it would happen this fast.  So the plan is to try to get pregnant as soon as possible once my lining issues have resolved.  AF showed up last week and it was much better than what I had as far as volume.  It is still light compared to my normal but it has improved a lot.  I was barely spotting in earlier cycles.  I am waiting for the ultrasound result.  The Dr. was out of town but should be back tomorrow.  

Trying to get pregnant is going to be tricky since toddler sleeps with us and with me being sick there hasn't been much going on.  Sometimes I feel like the distance between DH and I is widening and not health for our marriage.   I have tried to get toddler to sleep on her own but she got sick in January and the little training she had she lost since we were not comfortable having her sleep in her crib alone since she was having breathing issues.  Now she refuses to even be in the crib.  With pain, sleeping issues and all, time with my husband is far from my mind.  I just want to go through the day with at least my daily activities accomplished. 

As much as I want to have a 2nd child and give toddler MH a sibling I can't be doing estrogen treatment for long.  So I will have to draw a line on how long to try this and give it a rest.   I don't want to be where I was before, in pain and going crazy from migraine headaches.  I want to be able to take care of my child without the constant nagging pain and debilitating headache that comes with it.  With that said I think it means time to let go of future pregnancies and move on.   I am not there yet but it is not too far away.

My thyroid Dr. canceled my appointment last week due to snow but will be seeing her tomorrow.   We shall see where things stand.