Update

1.  My last ultrasound done at P + 7 (cd21) showed my endometrial lining to be only 6 mm (cycle I conceived and lost the pregnancy within days).  Usually > 8 mm is ideal for conception.  This is after I took estradiol suppository  post ovulation.   That cycle I had also taken baby aspirin so I believe that my lining must have been thinner in previous cycles.   So the plan is to wait a cycle without no meds and to use estradiol cream post ovulation as well as take fertile CM in addition to all other list of drugs in the next cycle.    I am also going to add baby aspirin.    The Dr. suggested to try to get pregnant on the first medicated cycle but I want to make sure that my lining is optimal before we try.   It is my fault that we ended up with a failed pregnancy.  I should have gone with my gut feeling and made sure that the lining was optimal even if the Dr. gave the green light to TTC.    During the medicated cycle I will have another ultrasound and if things have improved then we will try again.   I am also considering acupuncture even though financially it is difficult but it might be worth to try at least for two-three cycles to increase blood flow to the uterus.  If things don't improve after one cycle I will have to do a hysteroscopy to check out my uterus.  The last hysteroscopy I had was back in 2009 and it was the most painful procedure and I am trying not to go through it if I don't have to.  I absolutely do not want to TTC unless I am sure things are looking good.         

2.  Desiccated thyroid has been a miracle for my anxiety.  I wake up happy and do not have that dreaded feeling that comes with being anxious.  I still have some ways to go I think but overall I feel like a different person.  I have been taking it for almost 2 months now I don't have the on/off headaches and my mood has improved so much.   I have been struggling with keeping myself updated professional, i.e reading and learning some things that I need to learn for my profession.   Now I can actually focus and don't get overwhelmed with the thought of going back to work.  

3. 2013 has been an up and down year emotionally.  It is the year that I finally was at peace with being home with my baby and actually took the time to enjoy being a stay at home mother.   I use to have a hard time being in the moment and not planning or thinking of the future obsessively.   When DH and I use to go on vacation I would thinking/plan the next vacation while on vacation, this is how bad I was.   So I have been fighting that urge to think of the future obsessively and has improved a lot in that regard.    2013 is also the year with two painful pregnancy losses.   Hoping for the better 2014. 

4. After my first successful pregnancy I thought the 2nd time around would not be difficult and that I would be on the same meds I was first time around and would be able to get pregnant.  Well that didn't pan out and now I have new issues, most likely a result of being older and approaching 40.   This two losses have given me a heightened awareness that my first pregnancy was a miracle.   Besides the few scares during my first trimester the pregnancy went normally.    I am hoping that we can fix the thin endometrial lining and I will have another successful pregnancy. 

5.  I have lost 5 lb since my pregnancy in July, after a few months of taking L.D.N my mid section looks slimmer.   I still have another 5-10 lb to lose but at least I don't look like I am pregnant, well not as bad as before.   I was looking at a video tape from August before I found out about the issue with the pregnancy and I looked like I was 5 months pregnant when I was only at 6 wks.  No wonder people kept asking me.   I also don't need to snack in between meals and I think it is a result of the desiccated thyroid med. 

6.   Hoping that 2014 will be the year for those waiting for their BFP or adoption.  Wishing you the best.